Two amazing women.

Friends. I haven't blogged in just shy of a month. Let me tell you why. I was sick. RubyAnn got croup. We both were sick. But that's not really why I haven't blogged. My heart wasn't ready. On Nov. 4th i lost a dear dear friend. And it hurts. A lot.

I wanted to write about her. But no words seemed fitting. Her name was Brenda. She was one of the most amazing woman I know. She loved! Oh how she loved! She was teaching me to quilt! She was helping me create memories of my Grammy.

My Grammy also loved to quilt(and sew!!) and she loved! In many ways my Grammy and Brenda were a lot alike! Neither of them knew a stranger ever! They both loved everyone! They both put everyone else first! They both were the most amazing women ever!!

When Brenda passed away the passing of my Grammy came flooding back. Not only that but the passing of Brenda's sweet, funny, quirky, loving, daughter Mandi came flooding back.

With all this the passing of my sweet friend Derek flooded back. 4. 4 amazing people. All passed away. 3 of which just in the short time that RubyAnn has been alive.

When my Grammy passed away on January 23, 2017 my mom, RubyAnn, and I were right by her side. I wish RubyAnn was able to know her more! I remember the day my Grammy got to meet her! RubyAnn wore a special red dress, red was my Grammy's favorite color! She would not take her hands off RubyAnn! RubyAnn snuggled right up on Grammy's chest and slept there the entire time! And when i reminded my Grammy that RubyAnn's middle name was the same as hers, her eyes lit up!

My heart broke into a million pieces when my Grammy passed! I knew she was FINALLY happy again! She could talk and sing!!! She loved to sing!! She could walk again!! She could dance again!! She was with God, but not only that, she was with the love of her life, my Grampa, again!!

After 29 years of him being gone, they were together again!!

This brought such joy!! But oh my word I had never felt such sadness in all my life. Even now as I write this tears are streaming down my face. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of my Grammy. She was my rock. She was my favorite person in the world! There is a constant reminder of my Grammy around every corner I turn. I love and miss her so much! More than words could ever express!

When Brenda passed it felt like a piece of my heart was gone. She had such an impact on my life, and not only that, on RubyAnn's life. RubyAnn loved Brenda so much! And Brenda loved her!!!

How do you tell a 22month old that someone they love so much is no longer here? I remember at the visitation when RubyAnn seen Brenda, this look came over her face. It was a look that said "Something just isn't right. Something is wrong" my heart broke. I said " its ok baby girl. Brenda is ok! She's with God, Mandi, and Grammy! She's just going night night for a long long time, but its ok! " We miss Brenda so much!!!

All of this is so hard to write. I wish I had the words to truly express how AMAZING and WONDERFUL my Grammy and Brenda were, but I don't.

This was the last picture Brenda had posted before she even knew she was sick. But oh how true it is.